today the deconess (however you spell it) was preaching on resilence, and it really got me thinking about the many things in life, and what a paradox it is.

'to find meaning in suffering'
some people ask why are they the ones who suffer all these pain and hurt. people think that they don't deserve this, all that they're feeling now. so many questions, but no answers they're getting. people are constantly being reminded of their pain and therefore are unable to move on with life and do things like they once did. even if they do, they move on with fear and insecurity. they fear the things that remind them and trigger the horrible thoughts that haunts them, which they took such a long time to heal from these wounds. people often ask, 'why me?' but the saying goes, " all things happen for a reason. " it may be hard to look on the bright side, but once you do, you'll might be able to find answers to your questions. answers not to questions like 'what did i do & why do i have to suffer this' , but answers to questions more like 'why i suffered'. everything is planned, and happens for a reason, to shape our life, and shape the lives of the people around us when they see us. many people get inspired by other's lives. if some famous person did not go through all those tough times and succeed to where he is now, we wouldn't even have bothered. but these things to happen, for us to learn from it, the attitudes, the strengths that we should be taking up to face life.

the fragility of life
everyone knows that life is fragile. one minute you can be here, kicking and screaming; and the next minute you might not even be breathing on this planet any longer. the sudden changes, good or bad are predistined. as 'change is the only permanent thing on this earth', it reflects to us as how fragile our life can be. how the various thing in life can make us, and how they can instantly break us so easily as if by snapping a finger. all can change and turn upside down within a few seconds. people face all these emotions, most of the time mixed, and end up confused. suddenly the goal, the driving force in their life disappears, and people end up walking aimlessly, wondering where do they go from here. to say that life is predestined would be wrong, it is the various things in life that is predistined, so that we can make different choices from there, and from there we learn, and we grow. we aren't made to let the fragility of life control us, we're supposed to use the fragility of life to our advantage (not in that evil way).

the adversity in life
maybe within a few seconds, a relationship is over. maybe within a few minutes, a career would be ruined. maybe within a few years when things start to brew up, a family gets torned within a few minutes, just by a small trigger. how things can change so drastically. all those emotions of malevolence we feel. we feel so down, so depressed, so hurt. life took a swerve a hundred and eighty, and we find ourselves lost and alone. revenge, we often feel. anger, it often takes over us. we feel so bitter, so sour over everything that has happened, and spit at the people who are laughing so merrily around us. at first, it feels like the world has crumbled, and we've been torn to pieces. then slowly, we try to pick up those broken pieces, and lick our wounds of pain and suffering with the salt of bitterness and revenge. more often than not, the climb back up again to where we were previously is a slow, painful and difficult process. we find ourselves fighting within us nearly every second, braving all obstacles. but sometimes we just slip and fall back down again. what does it take to bring us up again? where is that strength and pushes us on? in who do we find it from? all these, together with unanswered questions lead to the creation of religion, where people mostly think that it provides them with their answers to life, oftenly all make-believe. it is through tough times like these, when people feel that they have lost it all, and need a strength so powerful to bring them back up again, they need a strength as powerful as the supernatural to satisfy their emotional needs, to make them feel happy. and it brings about the various religion and beliefs.

living in self denial
with a heart so torn, it is left to decay inside us, and it slowly overtakes us and eats the rest of us too, until the point where we are only left with an empty shell, inside so dry, hollow and numb. in other cases, we turn to self-denial, maybe what you call a fake optimist. we repeatly tell ourselves that things that aren't true. we start to believe in our own lies, and think that what has happened in real life was nothing but a dream. it's a way we try to give ourself self assurance and security. living amist all these lies around us, who do we turn to for help? how do we overcome this difficult period? hasn't it occurred to us that with every adversity we overcome, we grow stronger and we mature both mentally and physically? don't we feel more stabilised with our emotions? each adversity prepares us for the next to come, something even bigger and stronger that will knock us off our feet. yet we have to remain strong, as God says that he'll 'never give us more than what we can take'. all the things we've learned through those adversities. haven't we learn how to symphathise and cry for another who's going through the same thing? we'd give them our shoulder and tell them how to stand back on their feet again. all the things that come into our knowledge after we've been through it all. usually we'd just be replaying all the unhappy incidents in our life over and over again, getting depressed and the usual stuff, never believing that we'll stand back up on our feet again. wave after wave, we get more and more down. we're living this life, and why are we being broken by it? it is important to be able to wake up, and break through before we begin our climb back up. clean forgetting the sad and leaving them behind. scars stay, they'll forever remind, but they don't bleed anymore.

it's time we all believed and have faith, and take that little step to the road of recovery. it's time to learn what resilence is about, and share it to other people, only will then nothing will break us in life, mentally.

i am strong, when i am on your shoulder.